Isolation

I’ve been keeping to myself quite a bit lately. In fact, I haven’t really seen any of my friends since the ordeal has happened. The friends have been great. We get calls and emails, cards, and gifts. I could honestly say, I’ve never felt more cared for and supported. They are very patient and understanding and when I don’t email back or call, they give me no slack. But I wonder how much longer I can go on avoiding them. And that is what I am doing. I just don’t want to see them and it’s not even because of the 101 kids that accompany our circle for friends. I actually want to see them (I adore every single one of them to bits). But it’s that first initial meeting up with people that make me think I am going to have an anxiety attack. I am being completely unfair to our friends, because in truth, the awkwardness will be over in a second. Its just me, I can’t seem to bite the bullet or suck it up as my husband likes to say. And there is my husband, I feel as if I am keeping him from getting back into the swing of things. Keeping him from his friends. Sometimes I think I am perfectly fine just Cheeks and I, don’t want or need anyone else. Then sometimes I feel I am missing out, drifting apart, the kiddies won’t even remember me. When is too long to stay away?