Beating the crap out of Hope!

Sunday is the day. I’ve only been stimming since Friday, isn’t this so quick? Anyway I’ve been taken off the Follistim. Tonight it just the Lupron and 75 until of low dose HCG. I am coasting. I have like a zillion Follicles. I tried to count, but it was just too much. I heard lots of 14s, 15, 16, 18, and a 19 in there. I’ve been to the Dr. everyday since Weds. and back again tomorrow. Estimating I will Trigger on Friday, for Sunday retrieval. Estrogen is 3300.17, 9MM uterine lining. With all of this, I have no friggen idea what the heck is going on. I am told all it looking good. I can’t find a damn thing on Google. I feel like you can pop my stomach. Thanks God for low-rise pants. Before I miscarried, by BF bought me a belly band for my pants. I am seriously thinking of throwing that sucker on.

It has been easy, really. Which is why it’s not going to work. I realize this is just the first of many hurdles, so I should feel better something along the way will get screwed up. But it was really easy to get here and then my hope starts to creep up. And I need to kick its ass. So doubt and paranoia start in and then there is a battle royal in my head and I really don’t want hope to win.