No so happy post
Lately I just can’t deal. I’ve been in a super funk. Just when I think I’ve reached a milestone and just about ready to move on, the depression just hits me and knocks me out. I feel bad because Cheeks suffers the most when I get in this mood. I am feeling really hopeless, old, unhealthy, tired, alone, etc… I keep daydreaming about my little girls. I envision one dark haired (like me) a blondie (like the husband), the double stroller, the baby shower I didn’t get to have (which we were planning for last Sat.), all the cute little girl clothing that I wouldn’t be able to stop buying, the maternity dresses I didn’t get to wear. Its like it all comes back to me and it hurts so badly and nothing I could do can push in out of my mind. I would have been going on 33 weeks. Only a few weeks to go. The nursery would have been complete, every night the husband and I bonding over the preparations. The most exciting time of our lives, just gone. I feel I am left with nothing. I can’t stand who I am right now
posted by Squirt at 9:47 AM
3 Comments:
Hi Squirt, I just just read about your last post regarding MTHFR. Some doctors do think its a big deal (like my doctor does). I actually have tested positive for one of the alleles, not both. Anyways, my RE said to take 1 baby aspirin a day and Folgard (prescription strength folic acid). I do know with both alleles, he prescribes heparin (which I'm doing also but for a different reason). My point is NOT to worry you- goodness knows you have enough on your plate. Its all about self education. Some REs think really highly about immune issues; some don't. Mine does and gets alot of flack for it, but his stats speak for themselves. And I think better to be safe than sorry, but that is just my 2 cents to the whole thing.
Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.
Yes, just when we think we are getting somewhere, we are back a square one.
How do I know this? today was one of those day....and now please excuse my spelling as I am a little tipsy.
Don't you just want to kick everyone in the ass sometimes and just say, "hey, I'm normal, what's wrong with you" Why didn't you have a dead baby or two?
If you were closer, I'd coerise you into going out for a martini or two and laughing at all those "so called normal" gals
so unfair it is.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry about the place you are in. I have similar feelings, as we would be finding out the sex this week.
I hate that we are back to square one yet again. It is just so unfair.
I'm sending lots of hugs your way. XOXO
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