Complaints about my loving husband
I had a complete melt down this weekend. To the point I was packing up my things and leaving my husband. Very dramatic. It all started with a fight about golf. He has spent one day out of the last 5 weekends doing something with friends. Golf, rafting, Nascar (not even a fan), Atlantic City, poker etc…This weekend he pulled golfing and fantasy football draft. He was supposed to spend the afternoon with me, between Golf and FF playing tennis and having lunch. But for some reason golf went late and he got home 3 hours later then promised with no time for the above. Now I want to be clear, I am not one of those wives who doesn’t let her husband do anything. He does everything he is asked. He is the one at every party, card game, after work activity, golf, boy’s night etc… He lacks for no male only company. But it’s been every Sat. night for 5 weeks and I’ve been sitting at home alone. He likes to tell me, “go out and hang with your friends”. My friends are the ones home with their kids. I have nowhere to go. My only childless friend lives across the country. I can’t handle a night with my parents (another fantastic option he likes to throw at me). The fight was pretty bad. I feel abandoned, not just by him physically not being around, but abandoned in the fact that his social life is back on track. As if nothing happened. As if he is the same old “childfree” guy he was before we lost the babies. And me, well it is not so much fun hanging out with my friends and their kids or my parents. I want to sulk at home alone. Well alone with my husband. And I have to face the very real fact, that I want him to suffer along side of me. I know it’s not fair, I know he knows it’s not fair (and calls me out on it). It is just how it is.
Of course I didn’t run away. We worked it out. I am sure he will spend at least next weekend with me (then it will start all over again, this I know to be true). I just want to socially be able to get back to normal. Look forward to my friendships instead of dreading them all.
Anyway one day I will stop sounding like a whiney ungrateful child. I can’t wait to write a happy post. Anyone know when that will happen?
Of course I didn’t run away. We worked it out. I am sure he will spend at least next weekend with me (then it will start all over again, this I know to be true). I just want to socially be able to get back to normal. Look forward to my friendships instead of dreading them all.
Anyway one day I will stop sounding like a whiney ungrateful child. I can’t wait to write a happy post. Anyone know when that will happen?
posted by Squirt at 2:42 PM
3 Comments:
This sounds very stressful. I'm so sorry. I don't think you want so much for him to suffer, but at least to empathize with you and to understand that you don't want to be alone.
Is there a support group you could contact in your area? I know it's hard to reach out to strangers but it might be helpful to be in touch with someone who understands the pain.
I'm so sorry you are struggling. IF puts such a strain on your marriage and your relationships with others. I'm glad you were able to work it out.
I agree that you just need some empathy and sometimes, our dear husbands just can't understand for the life of them. A support group is a wonderful idea. Either online or IRL. It is nice to have that support when you are having a rough time. It is good to lean on DH but you also need an objective third party to go to - someone who just gets it.
(((HUGS)))
No, I don't know when that will happen but it sounds as though we all go through the same feelings just in different ways. I wish you luck and look forward to the days when we can both write "happy" posts! Good luck in your journey.
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