No Baby 4 U!- Part 2 The Pregnancy That Wasn't
So I was pregnant and friggen excited. Though I played it cool. My fun loving, free spirited husband on the other hand was cautious to the point of pissing me off. When I got those two little pink lines,that change your life, the second line was pretty light. I tested at 14 DPO...not too early, but there was def. a line. Cheeks, well I think he expected it to be fluorescent or something, because he kinda didn't believe me. I had to go to peeonastick.com for him to give in a little. It was annoying.
We really didn't tell anyone. OK, that's a lie, the very next day I told by best friend, who was really the only one that knew we were even trying to get pregnant. She lives out in CA and I miss her terribly, she is a true sister to me. When she found out she cried, she was so happy. She is still single, but with a great boyfriend, and while she was living in NY, she wasn't really crazy about the idea of me becoming pregnant. She would always say "I am not ready for you to have babies"... but once I confided in her that we were trying, she was on board. She's been a great comfort to me and though she lives across the county, she will always remain the first person I tell anything too (unless Cheeks is in the room or something :) ) Anyway I think I got off the subject here... OK, back on. So we had a trip to Ireland planned to see the husband's grandma. The whole family was going and at that point I would be 9 weeks pregnant. So we decided to tell his parents on the trip, but before we left we felt we had to tell my parents first. My mom started making plans immediatly on when she would take off of work to be with me.. my dad, well my dad saw that Cheeks and I were a bit nervous. Cheeks thought we were jinxing ourselves by revealing this before the 12 week wait... so my dad was quiet. I knew he was excited, but I also saw he was nervous for us. In Ireland, the whole friggen country found out. We told Cheeks' parents and brother, who in turn told their entire family. I knew this would happen and I really didn't try to stop it. So at 9 weeks we told more people we would have liked. I felt safe though, especially because I was sick. .I mean I was the poster-child for morning sickness. I had big swollen boobs. I even bought those anti-nausea bracelets for our trip.
We had a Dr. visit the day before we left for Ireland. My Dr. wouldn't see you until 8 weeks, which after researching I found to be normal. Just a basic examination, they took some blood. My uterus was swollen, all that jazz. Said see you in 4 weeks...
So anyway back from Ireland. We were back 1 friggen night. That Monday night I saw some brown blood drip into the toilet. For weeks I would panic at the sign of anything wet coming out of me. But it was always all good. Well I was upset, but brown blood wasn't bad, right? As long as it isn't bright red. Went to work the next day still spotting off and on. I just couldn't relax. I went online "brown blood could be old blood" OK, but I also read messages from women who had brown blood, that turned red and miscarried... I called the Dr. and they had me come right in, which I appreciated. I didn't want Cheeks to leave work early, but we only have one car. So my mom came with me. The Dr. examined me and said it looked like old blood. She tried to hear the heart beat with the doppler, but since I have a tilted uterus, she thought it would be too difficult. So she sent me off to do an ultra sound.
Now I never had a vaginal ultrasound. YUCK. They were very slick, because they turned the screen away from me. The tech didn't' say a word, just typed away. My mom kept on trying to look and all she said she saw was a "black hole".
Well that black hole was my empty placenta... as there was no baby inside of me. At this point I still have m/s, big boobs... I didn't understand. The Dr. explained it was a blighted ovum, which is when the cell divides, it forms a functioning placenta, but the egg with the baby never develops. So I had a thriving placenta with nothing in it.
I was in such shock and I tried to rush out of there. Which was kinda embarrassing. I needed to have a D&C, since it didn't look like I would miscarriage the placenta anytime soon... So that's my story... Feels weird typing it out.
We really didn't tell anyone. OK, that's a lie, the very next day I told by best friend, who was really the only one that knew we were even trying to get pregnant. She lives out in CA and I miss her terribly, she is a true sister to me. When she found out she cried, she was so happy. She is still single, but with a great boyfriend, and while she was living in NY, she wasn't really crazy about the idea of me becoming pregnant. She would always say "I am not ready for you to have babies"... but once I confided in her that we were trying, she was on board. She's been a great comfort to me and though she lives across the county, she will always remain the first person I tell anything too (unless Cheeks is in the room or something :) ) Anyway I think I got off the subject here... OK, back on. So we had a trip to Ireland planned to see the husband's grandma. The whole family was going and at that point I would be 9 weeks pregnant. So we decided to tell his parents on the trip, but before we left we felt we had to tell my parents first. My mom started making plans immediatly on when she would take off of work to be with me.. my dad, well my dad saw that Cheeks and I were a bit nervous. Cheeks thought we were jinxing ourselves by revealing this before the 12 week wait... so my dad was quiet. I knew he was excited, but I also saw he was nervous for us. In Ireland, the whole friggen country found out. We told Cheeks' parents and brother, who in turn told their entire family. I knew this would happen and I really didn't try to stop it. So at 9 weeks we told more people we would have liked. I felt safe though, especially because I was sick. .I mean I was the poster-child for morning sickness. I had big swollen boobs. I even bought those anti-nausea bracelets for our trip.
We had a Dr. visit the day before we left for Ireland. My Dr. wouldn't see you until 8 weeks, which after researching I found to be normal. Just a basic examination, they took some blood. My uterus was swollen, all that jazz. Said see you in 4 weeks...
So anyway back from Ireland. We were back 1 friggen night. That Monday night I saw some brown blood drip into the toilet. For weeks I would panic at the sign of anything wet coming out of me. But it was always all good. Well I was upset, but brown blood wasn't bad, right? As long as it isn't bright red. Went to work the next day still spotting off and on. I just couldn't relax. I went online "brown blood could be old blood" OK, but I also read messages from women who had brown blood, that turned red and miscarried... I called the Dr. and they had me come right in, which I appreciated. I didn't want Cheeks to leave work early, but we only have one car. So my mom came with me. The Dr. examined me and said it looked like old blood. She tried to hear the heart beat with the doppler, but since I have a tilted uterus, she thought it would be too difficult. So she sent me off to do an ultra sound.
Now I never had a vaginal ultrasound. YUCK. They were very slick, because they turned the screen away from me. The tech didn't' say a word, just typed away. My mom kept on trying to look and all she said she saw was a "black hole".
Well that black hole was my empty placenta... as there was no baby inside of me. At this point I still have m/s, big boobs... I didn't understand. The Dr. explained it was a blighted ovum, which is when the cell divides, it forms a functioning placenta, but the egg with the baby never develops. So I had a thriving placenta with nothing in it.
I was in such shock and I tried to rush out of there. Which was kinda embarrassing. I needed to have a D&C, since it didn't look like I would miscarriage the placenta anytime soon... So that's my story... Feels weird typing it out.
posted by Squirt at 6:27 PM
1 Comments:
Sara,
I'm so glad you have joined the blogging world. Here you will find a support system, and strong women who are going thru the same thing.
I admire your stength, and the babymaking is such hard work, just hang in there. You have been in my prayers. I say a special prayer for friends ttc, and everyone has gotten knocked up and had happy healthy babies. Take care and see you Saturday.
Nik
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